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Loving You from Afar
Thana 'Oil' Suttikamol & Patcharapa 'Aum' Chaichue
Rated PG
Drama
The garden was full of roses and the atmosphere was warm and calm. This was the warmest weather in all of April. The sun was shining and the roses were blooming. Nothing can make this spring day more perfect than a young woman sitting on the swing. She tilted her head back and smiles at her companion. He beamed at her.
This was a perfect day for lovers yet these two weren’t lovers. They were strangers. In this moment. In this memory. In this dream. It felt as though things were real between them. A lover eyeing each other, but it was far from it. The young woman with her long dark curl hairs and her big brown eyes were melting his slow soft smile. Her soft lips parted and were ready for him to kiss, but he held back.
He was a man that carried the weight of the world on his shoulder. The destiny that was waiting for him on the other side. Reality. Yet she wasn’t part of that reality. She was a dream. Someone he had met and share thoughts with. She wasn’t someone he could be with, but it felt so right being together. In the world of dreams.
“How was your day today?” she asked lightly as he pushed the swing higher and higher for her. “Hello? Are you there? Or are you ignoring me today?”
He raised one brow and wrinkled his nose, “I’m here. I was thinking. Anyways, my day was good. I was hoping it was be over soon.”
She was intrigued, “And why is that?”
“So I can see you again,” he answered causing her to giggled and sighed. “Sometime I wish I could meet you.”
“I know,” she said sadly. “But this is the only way we can meet.”
“In our dreams.”
“Uh-huh,” she clicked her tongue. “You know…I was visiting Sea World today with my friends and I thought this whale remind me of you.” She was laughing at him.
He stop pushing the swing and stood there with his hands on his hips, “Huh!” She quickly jumped off the swing and started running away from him. “I’m going to get you.”
“Catch me first,” she shouted.
“I will,” and he started chasing after her. “You better run.”
They were sitting on the bench and feeding the ducks on the pond. It was a relaxing and nice afternoon for the two. “This is nice.”
He agreed, “Yes. Beautiful weather and no rain.”
She laughed, “So it would seems so. I like it here. I wish I didn’t have to wake up so soon.”
He sighed, “A new day and back to the real world.”
“How are things going with you? Did you manage to buy that dream house you wanted?”
“Actually I am coming very close,” he smiled because she remember it. “A few more days and I am the new owner.”
“Well congratulation to you then,” she lean in and kissed his cheek and blushed. “I’m glad you got what you wanted.”
He was being coy, “Aw…if I known I would told you sooner.” She threw her head back and laughed. “Such beautiful laughter.”
She hit his shoulder, “Stop flirting with me.”
He grinned, “If only there wasn’t an angel near by,” he put his hand over his heart. “Oh…I think…I think my heart just stop.”
She rolled her eyes, “Where did you get your lines? I swear you can’t go through two second without flirting with me.”
“It’s a cursed,” he brighter his smile, “My mother told me so often. I’m a cursed to her and any women within my reach.”
“Your mother’s right,” she mumbled as she threw a piece of bread on the ground.
He sat there pretending he didn’t hear her, but he did. It was a blessing to be near her every night in his dream, but a cursed not having the real thing to talk to. They were from two different worlds and have their own life. In a million years, he and her would never meet. She was the girl in his dream and nothing else. She was far from his reality for him to reach her. She was a beauty to looked at and be with. If only…
They were sitting in a row boat watching the sun set. It was a beautiful thing to watch for two people. This was a romantic setting, but these two were far from lovers. It was magical thing even if it was in a dream. A dream full of wonders and romances. A pace set from reality to wake up the desire in a person. If only…that is what everyone wants. If only…but things cannot be that way. It is a time and place set from reality. A world of hope and desire awaken in a person that cannot be real unless someone makes it happen.
“I never watch the set sun before,” she smiled, “It is a wonderful moment.”
“I agree,” he said as he pulled her into his arms. “Hmm…you smell nice. What is the fragrance you are wearing?”
“Poison Ivy,” she answered briskly and she heard the shock in his voice. She was laughing and he was frowning, “Sorry. It’s a new fragrance I am trying. My friend is testing it out on me. Well…what do you think?”
“I like it, but the name-”
“Scared you?”
“No,” he quickly replied, “It’s just strange but interesting. I’m sure your friend will be surprise with people’s reaction.”
“That is what she is going for,” she smiled. “Shocking and interesting yet intriguing. I think she is planning to keep the name.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he muttered causing her to laugh at him which she got a tickle in return for laughing.
It was wonderful to have her in his arms and holding her. Together the both of them watched the sun set. He sighed. If only…if only he didn’t have to wake up and get back to the real world. He had to face the fact that he had to say good-bye to her. He was living his life and so was she. Why couldn’t he met her sooner instead of in this moment of his life? He is devastated that his heart is tearing apart so slowly. He closed his eyes and inhales the sweet smell of her reminding how much he cares for her.
He woke up the following morning as usual, but today was different. He wasn’t in a rush to get ready for work instead he laid there in bed. He kept thinking about her. The woman from his dream. The sweet sound of her voice, her laughter, and that beautiful face of hers. Everything about her intrigues him and his heart quickens a pace. He took a deep breath and exhale, “My sweet beautiful dream girl, if only, you were really here.” He slowly got up from his bed and headed for the bathroom.
On the other side of the world, the sound of an alarm clock going off at six in the evening is another reminder of why she hates taking night classes. She pressed the snooze button and slowly got up from her bed heading for the bathroom to take a shower. She has been working all day from six to two and finally had three hours of sleep. One thing she had to smile about was her dream. The same wonderful guy that she dreamt of for the past few months. Who would’ve thought she met someone so amazing? Of course…only in her dreams. She had to see that ironic thing in that, she did met a great guy in her dream. If only…if only he was the real thing. She sighed, “Never going to happen, Patcharpa.” she reminded herself, “He’s only the man in your dream and nothing else.”
He slammed the phone down and angrily hissed. This wasn’t exactly his day. His mother kept calling him to remind him that he had a duty tonight to show up for dinner. He turned around in his chair and grabs the picture frame sitting on his desk. He stared at it for a long time. It was a photo of him and his beloved fiancée. The woman he was marrying next week. He loved her, his fiancée, but part of him knew that the woman in his dream made him laughed. She was so different from his fiancée, but she wasn’t real. She was only a woman in his dream. He looked down at desk and realized he must finish his work if he was planning on meeting his fiancée on time for their lunch date.
Patcharpa kept spinning around in her chair, waiting for the professor to show up like the rest of the students in this big lecture hall. She rolled her eyes, thinking how boring it is. She turned to face her friend, “So…what are you doing for spring break?”
“Going to Thailand next week,” replied her friend, who was wearing a white tee. Her friend frowned, “Didn’t you check your e-mail lately?”
Patcharapa stared at her friend dumbstruck, “No, I’ve been busy Janie…why? What’s going on?”
Janie opened her laptop and double-clicks on a file. She waited a few second as the file open up and pointed to the screen. “It’s an invitation to Vicki’s wedding. Didn’t you receive it?”
Patcharapa shrugged her shoulder, “I guess I think to check my e-mail once I get home. I didn’t know Vicki was getting married. Gee…” she exhaled, “So, you’re going to her wedding?”
“Of course,” Janie grinned. “One of my oldest friends is getting married and I have to be there. Luckily, it’s going to be during our spring break.”
“Yes…” Patcharapa laughed and turned toward the front of the room as the professor walked in. “Spring break.” She closed her eyes, she could almost taste the upcoming week of no more school. She needed a break after working and studying so hard so she can earn her master degree.
He couldn’t help himself, he felt so tire after the day he had with his fiancée. He grinned, thinking of the fact that this was the woman he was marrying. Of course, she drove him crazy sometime, but what woman doesn’t? He loved that about her. That she wasn’t shy or afraid to stand up for herself. He recalled when she first returns home. He chuckled, she had pointy ignored him and told him that he was arrogant. But that didn’t stop him from chasing after her. It was the thrilled of the chase that he had fallen for her because no other woman was like. He sighed thinking of the woman in his dream. She wasn’t real, he reminded himself again and again. If he sees her again tonight, he will say good-bye to her forever. He knew this will the last time he will see her. He had to move on and continue to live his life and stop thinking about some woman who doesn’t exist this world. He slowly rested his head on his desk and drifted to sleep.
Patcharapa slowly and carefully winked at the stranger sitting by the foundation. She couldn’t help herself, flirting was in her natural. She sighed sadly, it was a cursed that she was born with this face. She had to laugh at herself for taking a moment to being conceited. It wasn’t like she was always acting this way. Deep down inside, she was hoping to finally getting over her feeling for someone she had care deeply for. She could still remember his laughter and that brilliant smile of his, but it was over. He was gone from her life. She couldn’t help but wonder about the man in her dream. For the past several months, she felt as though she was connected to him somehow yet she didn’t know it. Physically, they never met face to face only in their dream. She wondered if he was even real or not. She thought grimly…next week she would be in Thailand along with Janie on their spring week, attending an old friend’s wedding.
She wondered who her friend was marrying. Of course it was so like her not to tell Patcharapa or Janie anything. She felt herself jealous of her friend’s being able to marry the man she loves while her herself kept thinking about her man in her dream. If only…if only she would meet him and maybe get over this feeling that there is true love out there for someone like. She’s been burnt once in love maybe second time is a charmed. She hadn’t realized that her thoughts were running around in her head toward the direction of the man from her dream. She slowly spoke the words so quietly, “If only you were real and not a man from my dream.”
He found himself walking down the pathway toward a beautiful scenery overlooking a pond. He couldn’t’ help but smile as he saw the person standing under the orchard tree. It was as if she was waiting for him a forever. His heart skipped a beat. He had to remind himself this was good-bye. He came here to tell her they were no longer meeting each other. The dreams they shared together will ceased to exist. He had his life and so does she. If only…he shook his head, he can’t think that way. He has someone he love waiting for him. He was going to marry the woman he loved. Slowly, it took his breath away when she turned around and smile at him.
It nearly knock him to his feet to realize there were tears in her eyes. He wished he could wipe those tears away and make whatever pain that she was feeling disappear. He opened his arms and let her rush into his arms. He held her tightly in his embrace, inhaling that sweet scent of hers. He slowly led her to sit down at a nearly bench. He used his thumb to wipe the tears in her eyes. “What is it? What happened?” He asked gently.
She turned her back to him, afraid to face him, “I can’t…I can’t do this anymore. I feel like this past few months with you had helped me understand what love could be like if I was given a second chance to find it. If only…you were real and not some man that I kept meeting in my dream.”
He leaned back against the bench, “I know how you feel. I feel the same way. It is as though you came into my life during a phase that I was confused of who I am.”
“But..” she sighed.
“But…I feel as though it is time we say our good-bye. I’ll always cherish this memories that you and I shared even if we never really met. You deserve to find love again and I can only wish you happiness,” he slowly rubbed his temple. “I sometime wake up wishing you were real, not a woman who I kept meeting like this.” He laughed bitterly. “Isn’t ironic how life can be? ‘Dreaming is where you seek you answer.’ I did sought my answered to realize that life and dream can never be one. One is a reality where I live my life another is where I sleep and drifted off to find some peace that reality can’t find me.”
She slowly turned around and place her hand on his shoulder, “Isn’t it all what we want? Finding someone to care and giving them you love. We found what we both and now it is time to say our good-bye. We can only dream so far and this isn’t a place where we can forever stay. One way or another life we find us and bring us back to the reality we can’t escape.”
He took her hands in his and held it, “If only…”
“If only…” she stared down at their hands entwining each other. “We’ll never know.”
“No, we won’t,” he stared up into her eyes and sighed. Leaning his head forward, he kissed her soft lips one last time. The tears seem to be steaming down her face as she buried her head on his shoulder, sobbing. The last time they will ever meet. A dream that eventually come to an end for two people who understand and needed each other during a time where they were both vulnerable. Now it was time to move on with their lives.
Patcharapa rolled her eyes at door. This was the fifth time that Janie was trying on another dress. She knew they were going to be late for the wedding if they don’t get a move on. She checks the clock on the nightstand again and saw that they only had ten minutes before the reception started. Finally, she had it and starting pounding on the door. “Janie? Will you hurry or we’ll be late. C’mon…we already miss the wedding because we had a delayed flight. Janie? Janie!”
Janie popped her head out of the bathroom, “Five minutes okay? Five minutes and we’ll go.” She closed the door.
“Better,” Patcharapa muttered. She went to sit down on the bed and sighed. She slowly touches her hand toward her lips. She still remembers that kiss she had shared in her dream. It felt so real. She still couldn’t believe she will never see him again, but she had to move on. He wasn’t real to her, but he did give her a lot to think about. Maybe it was time to face her past and fight for what she believes. It was time she owns her up and faces her demons.
She was glad she didn’t meet him, the man from her dream. He was just someone who was passing through her life that taught her that there was someone out there for her love. And the problem was he wasn’t it. She wished…one wished that she could thank him for making her feel alive once again after life had screwed her once before. She slowly stood up as Janie came out of the bathroom. “Finally,” she said with much relief, “We can get there for Vicki’s reception.”
Janie grin, “She is going to be surprise to us here, won’t she?”
“Yup,” Patcharapa smiled, imagining the look on her friend’s face.
The groom put his arms around his wife’s waist and smile, “Will stop it? You might scare everyone away.” He teased her because she kept craning her neck around. “This is suppose to be our wedding day not a day for you to daydream.”
She elbows him in the stomach, “Stop teasing me. You know I was looking for my friends. I was hoping they showed up since it’s been forever since I saw them.”
“Oh,” he titled his head, “And here I thought all your friends were inside.” He clears his throat, “Did I tell you how beautiful you looked tonight and how happy you make me feel, Vicki?”
She turned around and patted his cheek, “Yes, but I love to hear it again,” he chuckled. “I love you, Oil. I’m happy to have found you.”
He kissed her fingers, “So am I.” He kissed her forehead and hugged her. “I love you with all my heart, Vicki.”
She suppressed a giggled and her eyes widen as she saw two familiar face. She let go of her embrace and waved at her friends who were walking faster. “Oh my god, Janie! Patcharapa! You two made it. I can’t believe it.”
Janie rushed forward and met Vicki halfway as they both hugged and was joined in by Patcharapa a few second later. The three of shriek as the groom Oil rolled his eyes. He was glad to see that his bride was happy and laughing. He couldn’t help but grinned, thinking how much he comes to love her. Two of her oldest friends were here to make Vicki happier than he could imagine. Suddenly, his world began to hit him at once. He couldn’t believe it. His eyes widen as he saw the woman in the short black dress with her hair down. She wasn’t real, he thought. No, he shook his head, but it was too late.
Vicki had dragged the woman in the short black dress and the other woman in the pink dress toward him. Vicki smiled as stood in front of Oil. “Sweetie, I’ll like to introduce you to my oldest friends from UC San Diego that I attended two years ago. Oil this is Janie on my right and this is Patcharapa on my left.”
He extends his hand and shook Janie’s first, “Nice to finally meet you, Janie.” He smiled.
“Same here,” Janie grinned. “You’re so lucky, Vicki marrying a cutie like him.” Both Janie and Vicki laughed.
“Patcharapa,” Oil extended his hand and stared into her eyes.
Patcharapa didn’t know if she should shake his head or not because of all the luck in the world. She finally met the man in her dream and come to realize he was the man that is married to her oldest friend. Their world wasn’t supposed to collate. He was not supposed to be real, he was only I man she dreamt of. No, she told herself. He is not real, he’s not. She felt the space around her leaving her with nothing but a closed box.
“Patcharapa,” her friends called out to her, but she couldn’t hear them. She couldn’t hear anything, but a small voice inside of her telling her to run and run fast. Away from here. Back to States. Back to California. Back to San Diego. Back to her home where she would safe. She slowly back away from Oil and her friends as it was too much for her. The air tightens on her and she can only hold on so much.
Patcharapa stared off into the golden light of the city. She could hear the sound of cars driving and the quietness of the night. It was late when she and Janie had return from the beach. She slowly closed her eyes, trying to forget what had happened two days ago at Vicki’s wedding. She felt there was something inside of her that was going to break yet she didn’t know what it was. But she knew it had something to do with Vicki’s husband. It was like staring into a nightmare when she saw him. Part of her wanted to reach out and touch him to see if he was real, but she came to her sense to realize things were awkward. It was a good thing Janie had an excuse for her reaction to seeing the groom.
She sighed in relief when Janie explained to Vicki and the groom that Patcharapa thought the groom remind her of her ex-fiancée. It was wishful thinking on Patcharapa’ part if it was true. If only she did thought Oil was her ex, it would’ve made things a little more comfortable instead of tense. Throughout the night, she felt Oil’s gazed on her and she had to calm herself down and turned the other way. It was a good thing she told Janie everything about her dreams and the details that occurred. She smoldered a laugh, recalling Janie telling her that he probably was her true love. She lowered her gaze and turned back into the room.
She bit her lower lips, suppressing a heartache that she was feeling inside. Her emotion was ready to burst. What the hell is she thinking letting her thoughts wander into dangerous territory. She shouldn’t be thinking about Oil. Oil is married to her oldest friend Vicki. No, she told herself. But why do she have the strong urge to pick up the phone and called him. Her body felt numb and her knee weakens as she slowly and carefully walked over to the sofa and sat down. She held out her hand in front of her and stared at it for a long time.
Oil must be crazy by being here. He knew this was wrong, but he had to find out. To find answers to his questions. He still remembers her reaction when Vicki introduced them. It was like looking at a ghost. He couldn’t believe she was real, he thought she was some fantasy woman he dreamt up in his dream. But she wasn’t, she was the real thing. She also happened to be friend with his wife. He was being stupid for being here. He turned around ready to leave, but something stops him in his track. He had to do this; he had to find out the answer he was seeking for.
He stood in front of the door and the slow movement of his hand; he began knocking on the door. Is he doing the right thing by being here? Yes…no, ugh, I don’t know, he thought. But it too late to turn back when the door open. He swallowed his pride and dignity with a fake smile on his face. “Hi.”
She stared at him with her jaw opened, her eyes going unblinking. “What…what are you doing here?”
He took a deep breath, “I came here to talk to you. May I come in so we can talk?”
She turned to looked around and nervously bit her lower lips, “No…I don’t think it’s a good idea. Janie isn’t here and I don’t feel right to have you here alone with me. Please leave.” She was ready to slam the door in his face when he stops it with his foot.
“Just talk. It will only be a few minutes. I won’t leave till you give me a chance to talk,” he was determined to talk to her whether she like it or not.
“Fine,” she gritted her teeth, “Five minutes. I am giving you only five minutes.” She walked away from him and headed for the living room. She took a seat on the sofa, crossing her arms and legs. She glared up at him as he enters the room. “Start talking. You only have 4 minutes and 50 seconds.”
“I can’t believe it. You’re real. I feel so surreal. I thought a dream was dream that you were someone who wasn’t real yet you are real, I mean,” he closed his eyes for a moment. “And you happened to be my wife’s friend.”
Her eyes narrow, “What is that supposed to mean? You want me to be what? Your mistress?” she scoffed it off. “Tell me what the hell do you want and why are you here?”
“Patcharapa,” he said her name as if it was easy to breathe. “I was hoping…maybe to get to know you and maybe become friends. I mean you are friends with my wife and you and I can…”
“NO!” she shouted. “We cannot be ‘friends.’ You and I are total stranger. We don’t know anything about each other, okay? Plus I don’t want to be friends with you.”
He sighed, “I guess I was wrong to come here.”
“Yes. Please leave and don’t ever come back,” said Patcharapa. “Live your life and be happy with Vicki and let me be.” She let him walk out the door because she knew it was the best thing for them both. He belongs to someone else and it would not be right for her to come between the two of them. “Oil?” He turned around to face her one last time, “I may be selfish for saying this, but I wish we had met under better circumstance.”
“Me too,” he whispered the words as he pulled her into his arms and held her, “May be one day in another life, we will meet again.” He let go of her and kiss her forehead, “I want you to know that I never regret having met you in my dream when my life was complicated. You give me a reason to hope and how much Vicki has mean to me. I hope you meet someone like in your life. I want you to be as happy as I am like I am with Vicki.”
“Promise me one thing…”
“Anything.”
“Take good care of Vicki, will you and love her forever.”
“I will.”
“Good-bye Oil,” Patcharapa gave him one last hug and held on tight, letting the tears flow down her cheek.
THE END
This post has been edited by cherishdaheart: 02 March 2007 - 08:53 PM
Is that it? 
anyway still a good story keep it up
You're not kidding. 
I didn't finished reading it.
